...written from a Mom's Mouth (who prefers to stay anonymous)
Food is a common battleground for parents of toddlers/preschoolers. Kids are exercising their budding independence while parents walk the fine line of encouraging that independence without letting the inmates take over the asylum. This delicate dance can evolve into a power struggle as uncooperative kids quickly dissolve parental patience. The key to toddler/preschooler cooperation (as all parents of young children are well aware) is keeping them interested, invested, & involved.
Knowing that independence is their currency can be used to your advantage by offering them as many opportunities for control (choice) and responsibility (independence) as you can. Pair this with consistency and you have a recipe for cooperative kids and relaxed parents. So, how do you translate these preschooler basics to nutrition? Here are a couple of tips & tricks to turn your food power struggles into opportunities for quality time while laying the foundation for a healthy relationship with food.
1. CHOICE = CONTROL in your preschooler’s mind. Hand them the control they crave by giving them choices whenever possible, then covertly direct that control by offering only options you are happy for them to make.
• Breakfast/Lunch Menus – Young children love to play restaurant. Creating a simple menu with pictures and corresponding words for our most common breakfasts & lunches was my way of tricking the kids into eagerly selecting exactly what I wanted to them to pick when it was time for a meal. “I’m sorry, sir. That’s not on our menu. Can I tell you about our daily specials?” is much better received than grouching at them that I am NOT giving them brownie leftovers for breakfast. Yes, it takes more energy than I generally am willing to dole out at 7 am, but the goal is to get through breakfast without a fight. We made ours on the computer, a fun cut-and-paste craft for the kids works just as well.
• Produce Pickers – The kids are responsible for picking a fruit and a veggie each week. It’s a great way for them to experiment with trying new things and, as an added bonus, also helps massage the junk requests at the store (I’m sorry, that’s not on our list today, but I do need you to pick out a vegetable. Which one would you like?). It also means that the items they selected are showing up on the table at meal times, so they feel like they have more control over what they are offered.
• Muffin Pan Meals - This is one of my favorite weapons. It is something I like to employ when things are stagnating or starting to lean toward power struggles over food. It’s a great way to reboot the system (both for parents and kids).
Serving lunch buffet- style with a muffin pan for a plate appeals to the preschooler’s desire to sort/organize and keep foods separate. The kids love participating in the whole process from peeling hard-boiled eggs and cutting out fun shapes of bread/cheese, to helping themselves to the buffet of choices. It hits a control/choice grand slam because there are lots of options and the whole experience is an exercise in self-help independence, which is right up your preschooler’s alley. It is also my favorite way to start introducing new foods because it is the perfect setup for that sneaky initial exposure with no pressure to eat it. Some ideas of what works at our house:
| DAIRY | PROTEIN | GRAINS | DIPS |
| mozzarella balls | nuts/seeds | bread | soups |
| cheddar | tuna salad | pretzels | hummus |
| milk | egg salad | crackers | nut butter |
| yogurt | chicken salad | pita/tortilla | tzatziki |
| cottage cheese | lunch meat | quick breads | ranch |
| VEGGIES | FRUIT |
| cherry tomatoes | grapes |
| celery sticks | apple slices |
| carrot sticks | mandarin orange |
| pepper slices | fresh berries |
| cucumbers | dried fruit |
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