Week1 Setting Expectations
Welcome back to the Creating Peace with Food blog. We are launching a new series this week called Feeding Your Family. Regardless of if you have little kids, big kids, a spouse who still acts like a kid, they are your family and it’s important to know how to feed them right!
We are going to go in-depth on several hot topics such as How to Raise Good Eaters-or Re-Raise Good Eaters at Any Age, Handling Picky Situations, What is Normal?!, Dinner Time Shuffles, and much more!
Our first topic…..Setting Expectations
Expectation 1:
Know Your Responsibility. Parents are responsible for the what, when, and where of feeding. Your child (NO MATTER the AGE) is responsible for the how much and whether of eating. (See Ellyn Satter’s article: Division of Responsibilites. We will discuss this in further detail soon. Until then check out this link.
Expectation 2:
Kids have about a 5-10 minute window where they are willing to sit down and eat a meal. So it’s important that you are able to enjoy these brief moments of stillness by being present with them at the table.
You can make this a reality by: Planning your meals ahead of time and have what you need for that meal available to you or your kids before sitting down (such as napkins, bibs, beverages, etc.). This will limit the number of times you have to leave the table for small trips back to the kitchen.
Expectation 3:
Food preferences vary and if you have toddlers this can vary from breakfast to lunch! It can take 8, 10, 15, or 20+ times of introducing a food before it may even be tasted. Be patient, have no fret, eventually the asparagus will get eaten.
Expectation 4:
Honor Your Mealtimes. Seems easy enough, but so often we feel rushed, anxious, and full of stress we forget to eat, skip it intentionally because of no time, or pass snacks to the kids while in the car. Occasionally yes, life happens. However on a daily basis, the consistent neglect of sitting down to eat a meal together is role modeling to our families that meals are not important, eating and enjoying our food is not important, our bodies and health are not important. This is a classic example of “Do what I say, not as I do.” Reverse this by designating set meal times through-out the day for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, & dinner. You may already be following a similar routine without knowing it!
Expectation 5:
Before you help another, you have to help yourself. Do you have a personal struggle with your relationship to food? Maybe it is skipping meals, avoiding certain foods, emotional eating, or finding time to prepare & plan healthful meals at home. Acknowledge your weaknesses and address them. A registered dietitian can help you overcome these issues so that you can lead your whole family to good health.
Weekly Challenge: Read Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibilities. Consider how you can apply these principles into your daily life. Post your insights, questions, concerns, & successes in the comment section. We love to hear from you!!!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
The Only Way Around is Through
Week 4 of Emotional Eating Series
This is the final post in our Emotional Eating series. I hope you have been inspired to walk your own path towards overcoming EE once and for all. The last bit we are going to chat about is echoed in Robert Frost’s quote, “The only way around is through.”
This quote could not be more true when it comes to the task of creating peace with our food. It is so easy to grab our favorite comfort foods in those times of need to help make the bad feelings go away.
Does that really help us in the long run-emotionally or physically? Nope. And as you’ve been following each week you may have already experienced this first hand.
Feeling your emotions and allowing them to be felt is an important step in being able to let them go. Maybe this is why some people are afraid of therapy. I have been told by past clients that they felt the goal of their counselor was to make them cry!
Well, no one is trying to make you cry, not even your therapist. However, having to experience the uncomfortable feeling that comes up when you are internally battling with the question: “I really want to eat that but I’m not physically hungry” is inevitable. This is the “going through” part.
This is also where some of the alternative coping skills we talked about last week can come into play. Have you thought much about those new coping strategies this week? If not, that is okay, now is the time to do it.
Some guidelines for getting through that uncomfortable feeling (all contributed by past clients):
1. It will pass…keep telling yourself this one!
2. Pray about it.
3. Try talking it out with a friend, spouse, or the person who you may be frustrated with (if appropriate.)
4. Be zany-instead of acting out with food, act out by jumping up and down or do some other funky movement that will take you out of your element and force a smile-even if fleeting.
5. Journal about it
6. Check in with yourself: What am I expecting? What do I really need right now?
Do any of these strategies resonate with you? Do you have any ideas that would work better for you than what is listed? Weekly Challenge: Choose one or two to focus on this week as you continue your journey towards creating peace with food. ™
Even though this is the last post for a while focused on emotional eating, you are going to be able to walk away with new insights and determination as you continue to practice these skills. I encourage you to set 1-3 of your own weekly SMART goals, including finding ways to keep your goals in your R.A.S.! Good luck and “see” you next week as we begin a new series on Feeding Your Family.
This is the final post in our Emotional Eating series. I hope you have been inspired to walk your own path towards overcoming EE once and for all. The last bit we are going to chat about is echoed in Robert Frost’s quote, “The only way around is through.”
This quote could not be more true when it comes to the task of creating peace with our food. It is so easy to grab our favorite comfort foods in those times of need to help make the bad feelings go away.
Does that really help us in the long run-emotionally or physically? Nope. And as you’ve been following each week you may have already experienced this first hand.
Feeling your emotions and allowing them to be felt is an important step in being able to let them go. Maybe this is why some people are afraid of therapy. I have been told by past clients that they felt the goal of their counselor was to make them cry!
Well, no one is trying to make you cry, not even your therapist. However, having to experience the uncomfortable feeling that comes up when you are internally battling with the question: “I really want to eat that but I’m not physically hungry” is inevitable. This is the “going through” part.
This is also where some of the alternative coping skills we talked about last week can come into play. Have you thought much about those new coping strategies this week? If not, that is okay, now is the time to do it.
Some guidelines for getting through that uncomfortable feeling (all contributed by past clients):
1. It will pass…keep telling yourself this one!
2. Pray about it.
3. Try talking it out with a friend, spouse, or the person who you may be frustrated with (if appropriate.)
4. Be zany-instead of acting out with food, act out by jumping up and down or do some other funky movement that will take you out of your element and force a smile-even if fleeting.
5. Journal about it
6. Check in with yourself: What am I expecting? What do I really need right now?
Do any of these strategies resonate with you? Do you have any ideas that would work better for you than what is listed? Weekly Challenge: Choose one or two to focus on this week as you continue your journey towards creating peace with food. ™
Even though this is the last post for a while focused on emotional eating, you are going to be able to walk away with new insights and determination as you continue to practice these skills. I encourage you to set 1-3 of your own weekly SMART goals, including finding ways to keep your goals in your R.A.S.! Good luck and “see” you next week as we begin a new series on Feeding Your Family.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Reminder Systems and Alternative Coping Strategies
Week 3 in our Emotional Eating Series
Welcome back to Creating Peace with Food ™ Blog. If you are just joining us please read the previous two posts to get a better sense of where we are starting from today.
Hopefully by now you are feeling more comfortable with the process of “Checking In.” How has this been helpful for you? Were you able to identify at least one new thought (B) that you feel comfortable telling yourself when faced with high stress situations that lead to EE?
The last two weeks have forced you to take a deeper look at how your personal food relationship corresponds to your emotions. This week I am going to help you transform this information into useful and reliable action steps.
There are 2 acronyms I want to introduce you to: RAS and SMART
S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measureable, Achievable, Realistic, Timely): This acronym is a great baseline for setting goals.
R.A.S. (Reticular Activating System): This is the part of our brain that can help us stay alert to specific stimuli. My business coach explained it to me like this: If you just bought a new car, you immediately notice ALL of the same type of cars on the road.
This is invaluable information! This means that we actually have a part of our brain DESIGNED to stay alert to things we consider to be useful. Knowing this allows us to tailor how we choose to meet our personal goals!
So let’s make this more applicable to you! Let’s use your new B (thought/belief) statement that you identified this past week. We’ll start by making it SMART.
Ask yourself: how can I use this statement so that it is specific, measureable, achievable, realistic, and timely?
Here is an example:
Old B: I’m angry at my spouse and the only thing that is going to calm my nerves right now is in the freezer!
New B: I’m angry at my spouse and I really need to calm down. I can do this and I have 3 choices. I can go for a walk, I can write in my journal, or I can pray about it.
SMART goal: I will choose 1 new coping skill to practice each day for the next 3 days.
Having a reminder system in “high risk” places will help you through this process by keeping it in your R.A.S.
One example of this is taping an index card with your goals written on it to the freezer. You very well may see it and choose to continue on to the treat in the freezer, but it will begin to disrupt your usual routine very soon.
How else can you use the reminder system to help you stay accountable to your goals?
Weekly Challenge: Define your own SMART goals for the week (no more than 3 at a time) and set up your own reminder system. This can be hard to do so please post comments below as we all learn from one another. (You can post anonymously.)
Good luck and “see” you next week!
Welcome back to Creating Peace with Food ™ Blog. If you are just joining us please read the previous two posts to get a better sense of where we are starting from today.
Hopefully by now you are feeling more comfortable with the process of “Checking In.” How has this been helpful for you? Were you able to identify at least one new thought (B) that you feel comfortable telling yourself when faced with high stress situations that lead to EE?
The last two weeks have forced you to take a deeper look at how your personal food relationship corresponds to your emotions. This week I am going to help you transform this information into useful and reliable action steps.
There are 2 acronyms I want to introduce you to: RAS and SMART
S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measureable, Achievable, Realistic, Timely): This acronym is a great baseline for setting goals.
R.A.S. (Reticular Activating System): This is the part of our brain that can help us stay alert to specific stimuli. My business coach explained it to me like this: If you just bought a new car, you immediately notice ALL of the same type of cars on the road.
This is invaluable information! This means that we actually have a part of our brain DESIGNED to stay alert to things we consider to be useful. Knowing this allows us to tailor how we choose to meet our personal goals!
So let’s make this more applicable to you! Let’s use your new B (thought/belief) statement that you identified this past week. We’ll start by making it SMART.
Ask yourself: how can I use this statement so that it is specific, measureable, achievable, realistic, and timely?
Here is an example:
Old B: I’m angry at my spouse and the only thing that is going to calm my nerves right now is in the freezer!
New B: I’m angry at my spouse and I really need to calm down. I can do this and I have 3 choices. I can go for a walk, I can write in my journal, or I can pray about it.
SMART goal: I will choose 1 new coping skill to practice each day for the next 3 days.
Having a reminder system in “high risk” places will help you through this process by keeping it in your R.A.S.
One example of this is taping an index card with your goals written on it to the freezer. You very well may see it and choose to continue on to the treat in the freezer, but it will begin to disrupt your usual routine very soon.
How else can you use the reminder system to help you stay accountable to your goals?
Weekly Challenge: Define your own SMART goals for the week (no more than 3 at a time) and set up your own reminder system. This can be hard to do so please post comments below as we all learn from one another. (You can post anonymously.)
Good luck and “see” you next week!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Plan Your Different Outcome
Week 2 in our Emotional Eating Series
Classic Emotional Eating goes something like this:
Look back at your EE log now. What did you tell yourself that may explain the connection between a life event and an emotional eating meal?
Congratulations! You’ve just taken the first step towards conquering emotional eating! Awareness.
If you haven’t been able to identify any specific thoughts connecting you’re A and Cs then take this week to re-focus with this new information in mind. When you are ready to move on, come back and pick up where you left off. Feel free to shoot me an email if you need additional guidance at brandi@brandiolden.com.
The next step on your journey to overcoming EE is Determine or Check In. This leads us to your weekly challenge: Checking In!
Routinely Checking In with yourself before, during, or after EE will expedite your journey to a healthy food relationship on so many levels!
Checking In will help you to:
1. Identify the specific emotion
2. Recognize your choices
3. Challenge your B (thought or belief that is linking a specific situation to EE) by helping you create a new thought or belief about the situation at hand.
For Example:
Essentially what you are doing here is taking your awareness of your EE situation to the next level.
Your weekly challenge is just that: take it to the next level. Check in with yourself by asking some of the above questions. Write down your responses in your EE log. Come back next week to see how we move even closer to Creating Peace with Food ™.
Classic Emotional Eating goes something like this:
A: Life Happens: for example-you have an argument with a family member
B: You have a belief or thought on how to cope with this situation-be it consciously or subconsciously: I’m angry at my spouse and the only thing that is going to calm my nerves right now is in the freezer!
C: The Outcome: You go to the freezer and eat your favorite treat. As you take the last delicious bite, you realize you’ve eaten more than you wanted. You may feel guilty, sad, or angry at yourself.
If you are serious about putting a stop to EE then it will help you to better understand your conscious or sub-conscious thoughts connecting A and C. This is why I asked you to write down the “WHY” in your EE log last week.
Look back at your EE log now. What did you tell yourself that may explain the connection between a life event and an emotional eating meal?
Congratulations! You’ve just taken the first step towards conquering emotional eating! Awareness.
If you haven’t been able to identify any specific thoughts connecting you’re A and Cs then take this week to re-focus with this new information in mind. When you are ready to move on, come back and pick up where you left off. Feel free to shoot me an email if you need additional guidance at brandi@brandiolden.com.
The next step on your journey to overcoming EE is Determine or Check In. This leads us to your weekly challenge: Checking In!
Routinely Checking In with yourself before, during, or after EE will expedite your journey to a healthy food relationship on so many levels!
Checking In will help you to:
1. Identify the specific emotion
2. Recognize your choices
3. Challenge your B (thought or belief that is linking a specific situation to EE) by helping you create a new thought or belief about the situation at hand.
For Example:
D: Determining the situation (ie Checking In): How do I feel? What am I truly expecting of myself and of the situation? Is that realistic? What can tell myself the next time I feel this way so that I won’t emotionally eat? What do I need to be successful next time?
Essentially what you are doing here is taking your awareness of your EE situation to the next level.
Your weekly challenge is just that: take it to the next level. Check in with yourself by asking some of the above questions. Write down your responses in your EE log. Come back next week to see how we move even closer to Creating Peace with Food ™.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Emotional Eating
Food is personal. It is what we are given in infancy when we cry, what we are bribed with to “be good” as children, and what we turn to for comfort as teenagers and adults.
Developing a healthy relationship with food beyond emotional eating is something many of us hope for. And in all our hope, we seem to still rely on our old friend in times of need-over and over again.
The good news is that in those heated moments, when rational thoughts are overtaken by ritual and vulnerability, we actually hold the most power: to alter our behavior, change our thoughts, and have a different outcome.
Over these next 4 weeks we will explore the process of overcoming emotional eating. Follow along and work through the weekly challenges. Come back each Monday for an update and to share your experiences.
My hope is that this blog will inspire you to begin your very own journey towards Creating Peace with Food ™.
This week’s challenge: Begin a log of your emotional eating (EE’s). Write down the what, when, where, and why’s in your log to help you gain more insight into your personal food and emotion relationship. (Even if you think you already know!)
Ex:
What Happened When Did I EE Where Was I Why (What did I tell myself)
Developing a healthy relationship with food beyond emotional eating is something many of us hope for. And in all our hope, we seem to still rely on our old friend in times of need-over and over again.
The good news is that in those heated moments, when rational thoughts are overtaken by ritual and vulnerability, we actually hold the most power: to alter our behavior, change our thoughts, and have a different outcome.
Over these next 4 weeks we will explore the process of overcoming emotional eating. Follow along and work through the weekly challenges. Come back each Monday for an update and to share your experiences.
My hope is that this blog will inspire you to begin your very own journey towards Creating Peace with Food ™.
This week’s challenge: Begin a log of your emotional eating (EE’s). Write down the what, when, where, and why’s in your log to help you gain more insight into your personal food and emotion relationship. (Even if you think you already know!)
Ex:
What Happened When Did I EE Where Was I Why (What did I tell myself)
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