What do We Really Want?

This post is to help those who struggle with emotional eating and overeating.

Have you heard of intuitive eating before? Intuitive eating is a way of eating that involves some concepts like: eat when hungry, stop eating when satiated, enjoy eating, eat mindfully, and eat as desired.


I want to help you use intuitive eating concepts to work through a common stumbling block: eating "post-full" at a restaurant. You may have heard all the tactics: box half to take home, eat until satisfied, eat vegetables if I want more, or share the meal with someone else. These are all great tactics and yet, we often still find ourselves munching on food we are not even hungry for!

Let’s check a typical restaurant situation with intuitive eating concepts:

1.      Did I eat when hungry? Yes, and it was delicious.

2.      Did I stop when satiated? Well, I am and have stopped but I still want more.

3.      Eat as desired. Wait, what? Stop when I am satiated but eat as desired? How is that not contradictory when what I want is more food?

This is my challenge to you the next time you are in this situation. What do you really want? Is it that you want more food? Yes, maybe in the moment. Food can be very gratifying; however, is it not also common that as we take that next bite, and the next, and the next, we end up wishing we would have stopped at checkpoint #2 above? Pause and ask yourself again: “what do I really want?” I may want that extra bite on the surface but on a deeper level what do I want? I want to not overeat.

Explore this concept of “surface want” versus “deeper want” the next time you have welcomed a nourishing meal and still desire to eat more.

Instead of focusing on thoughts like:

-          Just one more bite

-          I’ve already started overeating, I might as well finish

-          This is not enough to put in a box

-          I am full but that was just so good, I just want a little more

Try focusing on thoughts like:

-          I may “want” that next bite on the surface

-          What I really want though is to be able to sit here some day and not take that next bite

-          What I really want is peace in these moments of tension

-          What I really want is to not eat until I am stuffed

The key is to actually give ourselves the space to even explore these thoughts; we usually are too busy taking that next bite and then getting down on ourselves for taking that bite! 

Give these thoughts a try and follow them up with action. Let us know what your experience is like! Remember, we have to start somewhere and we have to make the conscious effort to get started.