Picky, Picky, Picky!

 Week One in our Guest Blog on Picky Eating
...written from a Mom's Mouth (who prefers to stay anonymous)

Food is a common battleground for parents of toddlers/preschoolers.  Kids are exercising their budding independence while parents walk the fine line of encouraging that independence without letting the inmates take over the asylum.  This delicate dance can evolve into a power struggle as uncooperative kids quickly dissolve parental patience.  The key to toddler/preschooler cooperation (as all parents of young children are well aware) is keeping them interested, invested, & involved. 

Knowing that independence is their currency can be used to your advantage by offering them as many opportunities for control (choice) and responsibility (independence) as you can.  Pair this with consistency and you have a recipe for cooperative kids and relaxed parents.  So, how do you translate these preschooler basics to nutrition?  Here are a couple of tips & tricks to turn your food power struggles into opportunities for quality time while laying the foundation for a healthy relationship with food.

1.    CHOICE = CONTROL in your preschooler’s mind.  Hand them the control they crave by giving them choices whenever possible, then covertly direct that control by offering only options you are happy for them to make.
•    Breakfast/Lunch Menus – Young children love to play restaurant.  Creating a simple menu with pictures and corresponding words for our most common breakfasts & lunches was my way of tricking the kids into eagerly selecting exactly what I wanted to them to pick when it was time for a meal.  “I’m sorry, sir.  That’s not on our menu.  Can I tell you about our daily specials?” is much better received than grouching at them that I am NOT giving them brownie leftovers for breakfast.  Yes, it takes more energy than I generally am willing to dole out at 7 am, but the goal is to get through breakfast without a fight.  We made ours on the computer, a fun cut-and-paste craft for the kids works just as well.
•    Produce Pickers – The kids are responsible for picking a fruit and a veggie each week.  It’s a great way for them to experiment with trying new things and, as an added bonus, also helps massage the junk requests at the store (I’m sorry, that’s not on our list today, but I do need you to pick out a vegetable.  Which one would you like?).  It also means that the items they selected are showing up on the table at meal times, so they feel like they have more control over what they are offered.
•    Muffin Pan Meals - This is one of my favorite weapons.  It is something I like to employ when things are stagnating or starting to lean toward power struggles over food.  It’s a great way to reboot the system (both for parents and  kids). 
Serving lunch buffet- style with a muffin pan for a plate appeals to the preschooler’s desire to sort/organize and keep foods separate. The kids love participating in the whole process from  peeling hard-boiled eggs and cutting out fun shapes of bread/cheese, to helping themselves to the buffet of choices.  It hits a control/choice grand slam because there are lots of options and the whole experience is an exercise in self-help independence, which is right up your preschooler’s alley.  It is also my favorite way to start introducing new foods because it is the perfect setup for that sneaky initial exposure with no pressure to eat it.  Some ideas of what works at our house:

DAIRY	PROTEIN	GRAINS	DIPS
mozzarella balls	nuts/seeds	bread	soups
cheddar	tuna salad	pretzels	hummus
milk	egg salad	crackers	nut butter
yogurt	chicken salad	pita/tortilla	tzatziki
cottage cheese	lunch meat	quick breads	ranch

                             

VEGGIES	FRUIT
cherry tomatoes	grapes
celery sticks	apple slices
carrot sticks	mandarin orange
pepper slices	fresh berries
cucumbers	dried fruit

Show Me the Love!

Week 4 in the Series, I love you, Eat this!

 
This week we are talking about all the different ways you can show others how much you care about them, in a NON-Food manner.

1.    Touch-hug, kiss
2.    Tell Them
3.    Ask them about their life and if there is anything you can do to help
4.    Invite them on a walk, hike
5.    Give them a compliment
6.    Snail mail, text, email a card or a note
7.    If you know they dislike a specific chore, do it for them without saying anything
8.    Give a giftcard to their favorite bookstore
9.    Leave them a special note in an unusual place-like the bathroom cabinet or their tea cup
10.  Be open about your own thoughts and feelings. Show them your vulnerable side.

Do you have any other ideas or thoughts to add to the list. We’d love to hear them. Leave your comments below!

Zen Recipe Corner:

Cauliflower and Leek Saute’
Ingredients:
2 tablespoons butter
2 medium leaks
1 medium head of cauliflower
¼ cup raw pumpkin seeds
1 tsp salt
2 tsp pepper

Directions:
Slice leeks lengthwise and rinse well under running water. Be sure to get into all the folds to remove hidden dirt. Chop them and set aside. Cut up the cauliflower into florets and rinse well. Heat a large skillet on medium heat for 3-4 minutes. Add butter and melt till bubbling. Add in leeks and stir to coat with the butter. Saute leeks for about 8 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add in cauliflower, salt, and pepper. Stir to combine. Cover and let cook for about 4 minutes. While cooking, heat small skillet on medium high heat for 2 minutes. Add pumpkin seeds to the dry skillet to lightly toast. Stir frequently. When evenly browned, add to leek and cauliflower mixture. Continue to cook until the cauliflower has reached your desired level of doneness-maybe another 2 minutes or so.

Serving suggestion: serve with grilled lemon pepper salmon and black beans.

Do I feed you? Do I feed you not?

Week 3 in the Series…I love you, Eat this!

Welcome back! Last week we explored my personal thoughts on how we learn to love others through food. I realize that there is so much more that could be discussed on this topic, however we must move along for now. Feel free to write a comment below to continue that discussion.

This week we will answer the question: When is it appropriate to show our love for others through food?

Let’s start with new Moms and Dads: If your little one is crying, ask yourself: Is he/she tired, bored, gassy, has a dirty diaper or just wants to be held? If it has been about 2-3 hours since the last feeding, then hunger may be the answer.  Try not to automatically serve the breast or bottle at your baby’s every whimper. This will reduce the development of picky eating and eventually emotional eating in the future.

Parents of toddlers: Don’t succumb to being a short order cook. Whatever you plan for dinner, is the dinner. It is actually normal for toddlers to be picky, eat sporadic amounts, and even go with-out dinner occasionally.  This is a great time to start them on a supplement and demonstrate gentle boundaries at the table. Trust me, kids LOVE to eat. Even the most picky eater will come around. (Stay tuned for my Table Talk Workshop coming up in October, more info to follow.)

Parents of kids age 4 and up: Same rules apply as the toddler years, only hopefully they’ve gained a few more manners to go with those creative bargaining skills. It is normal for just about everyone to have a favorite meal. Incorporate these requests by having your children and spouse have a turn in the kitchen. Allow them to come up with their own dinner menu for one night a week. They can also share in the shopping and cooking. It teaches your family life long tools, makes the meal that much more special, and gives them more buy in when eating your meals during the rest of the week.

Special Occasions such as birthdays and holidays are wonderful times to love through food…with-in reason. Ask the special birthday guest what meal they would like that day and serve that meal. If having a party, offer a balance of more healthful and less healthful items as not all of your guests may want to eat cake and chips.  Holidays can be tricky. Choose NOT to leave bowls of chips, candy and nuts out 24/7. Offer vegetables with your meals and immediately put the food away for safe keeping afterward.

Vacations are a great time for relaxation and experiencing new things, even food. However, it is not an excuse to eat too much junk food, skip out on your lean protein and vegetables, or avoid exercise. It is my personal belief that most people get off track from their health goals when they go on vacation or have vacationing guests in their home.  It is possible to enjoy company, relax and experience a new place without compromising your health or your family’s health.

Next week we will explore ways that you can show love, but not with food.

Zen Food Corner:
My Favorite Leek and Potato Soup
(Adapted from Cook’s Illustrated, America’s Best Recipes Cookbook)

Ingredients:
3lbs leeks-cleaned well and chopped (discard dark green tops)
2lbs red potatoes-cleaned and diced into inch cubes
1 tbsp flour
5-6 cups of low sodium chicken broth or vegetable broth
¾ stick butter (yup, I just said REAL butter!)
Salt and Pepper to taste

Directions:
Clean and dice and chop up your veggies. Pre-heat a dutch oven or large soup pot on medium heat. Add in the butter and let melt. When the butter begins to foam, add in the leeks.  Stir to coat the leeks and cover. Cook for about 20 minutes stirring occasionally or until the leeks are nice and tender-don’t caramelize them. Add in flour, stir quickly to coat the leeks. Add in broth. Bring to a simmer. Cover and cook for about 5-7 minutes. Add in potatoes. Cover and cook until potatoes are tender.  Add salt and pepper to taste. Use a hand blender to puree in the pot or let cool slightly and transfer mixture in small batches to a blender to puree.

This dish goes well with a small grilled chicken salad and crusty whole grain bread.

In the beginning…..

Week 2 in the Series.. I Love You, Eat This

 

When I think back to the roots of how we learn to love one another through food, it can really be honed in on one specific day and time for all of us. Our birthday. When we are born, we desire simple things, one of which is food.

We equate being loved by the attachment we feel during our meals. And our parents show us love by feeding us when we are hungry and responding to our cues.  This rhythm continues as we grow. However, the feeding ritual becomes much more complicated as we begin to individuate and exercise our own personalities and limits through the toddler and preschool years.  Our parents had to embrace these years-much like you may do with your own children now, with sensitivity and firm boundaries.

Unfortunately, this is the part that can get all wonky. If our parents didn’t have the emotional support and appropriate coping skills for them to deal with having children and handle their own lives, then they were not very likely to pass these things onto us. For example, your parents (one or both perhaps) eats when they are tired, bored, lonely, and frustrated. When they saw you tired, lonely, bored, or frustrated they fed you because that is what made them feel better. That is how they learned to show love from their parents and that is the way they show love to their spouse and friends. 

Here is where it can get even more confusing. Showing love through food is socially acceptable.  Think most major holidays, birthdays, when someone dies or is ill, when someone has a baby, when someone is going through a rough time for any reason....someone else buys or brings them a nice meal.
Showing that you love someone through food isn’t taboo and can be a lovely and generous gift. However, when it comes to overcoming our own food issues or if our kids are picky-beyond the norm of what can be expected in the toddler years (ie you now have a picky 8 year old) then you may need to question your own behaviors.

Weekly Challenge: In what ways do you show love through food? How do you love yourself, through food?

Zen Recipe Corner:
Since we are talking about food and love language. Here is one of my favorites. (I’m from Louisiana in case I hadn’t mentioned that before!)

Chicken and Sausage Gumbo (recipe from GumboPages.com)
Ingredients:
•    1 cup oil
•    1 cup flour
•    2 large onions, chopped
•    2 bell peppers, chopped
•    4 ribs celery, chopped
•    4 - 6 cloves garlic, minced
•    4 quarts chicken stock
•    2 bay leaves
•    2 teaspoons Creole seasoning, or to taste
•    1 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
•    Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
•    1 large chicken (young hen preferred), cut into pieces
•    2 pounds andouille or smoked sausage, cut into 1/2" pieces
•    1 bunch scallions (green onions), tops only, chopped
•    2/3 cup fresh chopped parsley
•    Filé powder to taste

Directions:
Season the chicken with salt, pepper and Creole seasoning and brown quickly. Brown the sausage, pour off fat and reserve meats.

In a large, heavy pot, heat the oil and cook the flour in the oil over medium to high heat (depending on your roux-making skill), stirring constantly, until the roux reaches a dark reddish-brown color, almost the color of coffee or milk chocolate for a Cajun-style roux. If you want to save time, or prefer a more New Orleans-style roux, cook it to a medium, peanut-butter color, over lower heat if you're nervous about burning it.

Add the vegetables and stir quickly. This cooks the vegetables and also stops the roux from cooking further. Continue to cook, stirring constantly, for about 4 minutes.

Add the stock, seasonings, chicken and sausage. Bring to a boil, then cook for about one hour, skimming fat off the top as needed.

Add the chopped scallion tops and parsley, and heat for 5 minutes. Serve over rice in large shallow bowls.

YIELD: About 12 entrée sized servings.

I love you, eat this!

A New Series, Week 1

Raise your hand if you’ve ever shown you loved someone by feeding them. I know I’m guilty!

Over the next few weeks we will explore what it means to love through food. We will also define what this means for our own love language and how it could be impacting our relationships for better or worse. Finally we will look at alternative ways to show affection and love in a non food related way.

Stay tuned!

Zen Recipe Corner
-Recipe Modifications suggested by a fabulous client!
 
This granola bar recipe is a kid pleaser here.
 It freezes well for batch cooking quick/easy on-the-go snacks.  I would suggest using parchment paper and a rolling pin to really tamp it down, b/c they turn out too crumbly if you don't pack them well.  I sub Whole Wheat for All Pupouse flour, 1/4 c flax seeds & 2 scoops protein powder for the wheat germ, dried cherries for the raisins, 1/4 c almond butter & 1/3-1/2 c applesauce for the oil, and chopped, dried cherries for the raisins.