Resriction Vs Restraint, Blog 2

Last time we explored the concepts of restricting and restraining. Today, let's take a look at an example of restraint.

Precursors to practicing restraint:

1. Eating within an hour of waking
2. Eating meals and snacks every 3-4 hours until bed
3. Practicing balance at the plate using our CPF Plate Model
4. Practicing mindfulness at the plate

These practices will set us up for success when trying restraint. Without them, we are likely to be over hungry and craving which makes practicing restraint more challenging than it needs to be.

Step 1: Observation (each to take place over  a series of meals during the week, I would recommend 1-5 meals for each):

• Observe the point at which you sense you are full, do you stop eating or do you keep eating?
• Observe when you sense you are no longer hungry and then observe when you are satisfied or full. What do each of these stages feel like? 
• How do you respond to the above stages? Do you stop eating? Do you feel good, bad, happy, satisfied, angry, depressed? Try to point out why you feel the way you do (you may not know, but continue to ask yourself this question).

Step 2: Dialogue If you realize further from your observations that you have a hard time stopping after meals, write out the dialogue present. Usually it sounds something similar to the following:

Notice the spiral on the left side and no comment from the right side. We may be left feeling discouraged and disappointed.  Contrary to leaving these situations "happy", we are working towards leaving these situations with acceptance, forgiveness, and with nurturing help for the future. The above dialogue does not provide this.

Step 3 Act and Observe More:

• For a few meals:
• Eat to the point of feeling satisfied or full
• Observe your thoughts, actions, feelings
• For a few meals:
• Eat to the point of feeling satisfied or full
• Set your food and utensils down
• Your action is to do nothing but to continue observing your thoughts and feelings
• The tendency here will be to want to pick up the food item or food utensil again to silence all the thoughts
• Your challenge- restrain yourself so that you can experience sitting with these feelings
• Allow your thoughts and feelings to just be
• Once you are able to accept how you feel and think, begin to explore other dialogue that may be helpful for you. Here is an example (this is very informal because I am trying to mimic actual thoughts rather than providing a formal conversation that you may not identify with):

continued (I could not get the picture to format the same)....

Notice the difference in this set of thoughts versus the pattern of thoughts in the grid in step two. With this grid, we leave with constructive points. With the first grid we leave with destructive points.

Encouraging note: this is HARD work. Yes, it takes work. My claim is that it is worth the work and I think you will find this too. 

My challenge to you: be very aware of thoughts that say, "look how hard this is for you, you are bad at this, this is why you are never going to be able to do this, it is too hard." Try answering and standing up to these thoughts: "Yes! You are right! This is really hard. And that is okay. It is okay for this to be hard. It is not fun but it is realistic to expect that it is going to be hard; I have never learned how to do this before. I have never learned how to withstand, persevere through, or thrive through these types of situations. I have a lot of learning to do. And yes, it is going to be hard. That doesn't mean there is something wrong with me. It means I am human and I am right on track."

Restriction Vs Restraint

If you are working with us at Creating Peace with Food (CPF), we are or will be talking about balance at some point. One balance related topic we will talk about today is understanding restriction vs. restraint when it comes to food.

Here is an example for our discussion:

• You are trying to eat better.
• Let's say you really enjoy and may even emotionally eat sweets or salty treats.
• Your dietitian at CPF says that these foods can be part of your food intake, but you may wonder- how? "How can these be part of my meal plan when I can't just have "a few"? Isn't it this what is keeping me from attaining my goals in the first place? Don’t I need to cut it out completely?" Your dietitian's answer is no (because this would be restriction)  and you leave with a goal of trying to enjoy a smaller amount of these foods, although you are not sure how this is going to work.
• You sit down with your meal  and decide to also include one of your favorite treats with your meal. 

After having a seemingly small portion of your treat, compared to what you usually have, a dialogue begins: 

• So….I want more, of course.
• I can't have more.
• Well actually, I CAN have more.
• I am choosing not to have more.
• Isn't this a form of restricting myself, to tell myself that I can't have any? 
• But I CAN have more. I can choose to have more or choose to not have more.
• I can't get my mind off this food! Doesn't that mean I should have more? If I just have a little more I will be satisfied…..

Have you ever experienced something along these lines? When am I acting from a place of restriction and when am I acting from a place of restraint? The goal is to be acting from a place of restraint when needed. And restraint in the context of feeling total freedom is the ultimate goal. Today we will focus on just the restricting and restraining part. Read more here…..

Restriction Vs Restraint Continued

Here are some thoughts and situations that can help you identify when you are acting or thinking  from a place of restriction:

• I can't have those foods
• I had that already this week so I can't have it again
• I ate that so I should eat less at this meal
• I didn't eat breakfast so I can surely have this treat
• I'm having this treat and I will just work it off tomorrow or I won't have (you put something in the blank here) tomorrow.

Here are some thoughts and situations that can help you identify when you are acting from a place of restraint:

• I ate a nourishing meal. I am not going to have more because I am satisfied or full.
• I am eating all my meals and snacks and nourishing myself well. Even though I know I can have more of this treat, I am not going to because I feel it becoming more triggering. I've had sweets the past couple days and I am starting to feel again like I have to have a sweet after my meal. I'm going to take a break and readjust how I am relating to this food again.
• I am very used to having a large portion of this food. I am choosing to have less. I know I can have more if I want to. Part of me wants to, but what I really want is to focus on the fact that I am nourishing myself well and I CAN have these things. I am choosing to not have them, but I am not choosing to not have them because I  can't or because they are bad. Once I feel like I can have these foods without them being so triggering, I will have them. In the meantime, I am going to continue working on nourishing myself faithfully.

Weekly Challenge:

1. What are your thoughts moments like these?
2. Are you thinking or acting from a place of restriction or restraint?
3. Join our forum to discuss the topic further. See our website for directions to the forum.

Parents Have the Greatest Influence

Parents, did you know you have the most influence on your kids? It may not feel like it at times, but you actually do. And this includes your influence on your kids' relationships with food. If you are trying to make change in your family (especially in your kids' lives related to food), as many of you are, focus on the behaviors you are modeling. Exhibiting the behaviors you want to see is going to have the greatest impact on your child's ability and willingness to change.

These aren't easy changes to make. If you are working with us in order to see change in your kids, you are a critical piece of this process. This is why we devote many sessions to you parents. Just as it is important for us to be working with your kids it is also important for us to spend time on you: helping you achieve your goals, and helping you to be the change you want to see in your kids. The following are some ways to assess where you are at. As you work on changing your behaviors, talk with your dietitian anytime for extra help.

Top Ten Ways Parents Can Model a Balanced, Healthy Relationship with Food

1.    Set daily meal and snack times for yourself, not just your family

2.    Eat with your kid, do not just feed them

3.    Acknowledge your own food preferences and attitudes and how that influences your family’s meals

4.    Stop talking about how much was or was not eaten at meals-including your own

5.    Do not comment about weight (yours, theirs, or anyone else, even if joking or you think your kids aren’t listening)

6.    Reward yourself with NON-FOOD rewards like “you time” or a spa treatment instead of food

7.    Share what passions you have about cooking and healthy eating with your family

8.    When no longer hungry, stop eating. (This is a shift in focus. We are used to asking ourselves if we are full versus asking ourselves if we are no longer hungry. This will lead to a big difference in calorie intake at the end of the day.)

9.    Set boundaries at the table: what you prepared is the meal, do not make special food or become a short order cook when food is refused.

10.    Forgive yourself for not being perfect and be okay with trying again and again. Practice makes perfect!

Weekly Challenge: Choose one item on this list to work on in the following week. Have fun!

Pregnancy Nutrition and some of my Pregnancy Experience

Our monthly email reached you yesterday and part of our updates announced that I am pregnant. I thought this would be an opportune time to share a very brief introduction to pregnancy nutrition and some of my personal experiences thus far.

Pregnancy Nutrition 101

Sometimes we are able to plan for babies and other times they come as surprises. Either way, nutrition can and does play a vital role at every stage before and after pregnancy. From maintaining optimal menstruation, to the newly conceived human embryo implanting in the uterus, all the way through development  and birth, and finally with recovery and breastfeeding (not to mention the proper nutrition needed to maintain the mom's own optimal health while these little tikes grow up). Although the body can compensate well at times for inadequate nutrition, these are great reasons, especially for surprise babies, to be practicing healthy nutrition in our general day to day lives.

A few great pre-pregnancy guidelines:

1. Start prenatal supplements  three month's prior to conception

One of the most important reasons to prevent neural tube defects. The neural tube develops within the first month of  pregnancy and later becomes the brain and spinal cord. Adequate folic acid intake helps prevent neural tube defects when a woman may not even know she is pregnant. 

For general nutrition to maintain adequate folic acid, include  in your diet foods that naturally contain folic acid like leafy green, beans, and citrus. Here is a helpful list from March of Dimes. ¹ 

o    Fortified breakfast cereals (look on the label to see if the cereal 

       has been fortified with folic acid)

o    Lentils

o    Asparagus

o    Spinach

o    Black beans

o    Peanuts (only if you do not have a peanut allergy)

o    Orange juice (from concentrate is best)

o    Enriched breads and pasta

o    Romaine lettuce

o    Broccoli

There are MANY specific nutrients that are vital to pregnancy. Read more about them here or better yet, talk with your dietitian at Creating Peace with Food for more information and for creating an intake plan that is right for you. ²

2. Maintain adequate nourishment by fueling yourself every 3-4 hours throughout the day until bed with balanced meals and snacks.

This will help normalize your blood glucose levels which will help decrease nausea, referred to as morning sickness. It is also helpful to learn this rhythm of meal preparation and eating to maintain energy in general. This is a healthy practice for all people.

During Pregnancy:

1. Maintain prenatal supplement intake and nourishing yourself every 3-4 hours

2. Foods to avoid ³:

o  Undercooked meat, poultry, eggs

o  Raw fish and shellfish

o  Fish with higher levels of mercury like shark, swordfish, king 

    mackerel, and tilefish (see more on fish here) ⁴

o  Smoked seafood (safe when cooked)

o  Deli meat (heat until steaming)

o  Unpasteurized milk products (especially beware of soft cheeses 

    unless clearly labeled that they are made with pasteurized milk)

o  Large quantities of Vitamin A

o  Caffeine (a small amount can be okay but it depends on the 

    person. See here for more information and talk with your doctor 

    or meet with us for more information)

o  Alcohol

o  Unwashed produce

3. Other than the avoids mentioned above, an array of whole foods will nourish you and your baby well.

These are not the only areas that affect nutrition and pregnancy though. Our Creating Peace with Food Meal Plan tailored for you is perfect for adequate nutrition for you and for your pregnancy. Working with us is a great way to cover all of your bases, have a consistent and reliable reference point, and learn how to change behaviors needed to maintain adequate health before, during, and after pregnancy.

Some meaningful experiences and some interesting areas I did not expect:

o  Morning sickness does not mean morning only.

o  Nausea can actually be a very good sign of a healthy pregnancy. 

    If you don't have morning sickness this does not mean something 

    is wrong and on the other side of the spectrum, severe sickness is 

    not healthy for pregnancy. We can work with you to determine 

    what is normal and what is not.

o  Miscarriage occurs more often than I thought: 15-20%5 among 

    women who know they are pregnant. Great sensitivity is due to 

    mom's and dad's related to miscarriage. Also, the inability to 

    conceive deserves great sensitivity as well. The chance of getting 

    pregnant under the age of thirty is about 25-30%6 each month. 

    This leaves a lot of room for not being able to get pregnant too.

o  You may not like many vegetables for a time! All the more reason

    to have an adequate base provided by a prenatal supplement and

    by a well rounded diet before conceiving.

o  If I knew that I would develop a hefty distaste for coffee, I 

    probably would have known I was pregnant a few weeks 

    earlier than when we found out.

o  Cravings may not be like what you see on movies and you may 

    not really have them.

We look forward to assisting you in your family nutrition journey through pregnancy, motherhood and fatherhood, and family life.

Information referred to in this blog:

1 http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/folicacid_before.html   

2 http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pregnancy-nutrition/PR00110   

3 http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pregnancynutrition/PR00109/NSECTIONGROUP=2   

4 http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pregnancy-and-fish/PR00158  

5 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002458/    

6 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002173/